fired

Sarah has gone and fired me. She prepared a white slip for me to break the news. I noticed it on the table this evening. It reads, "MOMISFIRD FIRD FIRD." In all caps like she really means business. It turns out she just really likes to write in all capital letters and really needs to practice her lowercase letters. Seriously, where does she come up with this stuff? And I was even nice today. I let her have chicken nuggets and fries for lunch today--again. I let her have a friend over for a playdate. I let her wear a dress. I let her do playdough. Of course, maybe this fired thing won't be so bad. I'll be sleeping in tomorrow morning for sure, because I'm not on the job any longer. I'm not making any breakfast for anyone but myself. Perhaps I'll watch a movie or two or three of my choice. I might stay in my room all day and read a book to myself. I'll probably lock the door also just in case someone decides to reinstate me in my position as mom. I think I might go to lunch and do a little shopping by myself. Without anyone begging for something or whining about being tired or having legs that hurt or trying to escape from their stroller or throwing a fit in the store or screaming at the top of their lungs. Things are looking up. Tomorrow might be the most carefree, relaxing day I've had in ages. After lunch and shopping, I'll probably take up a new hobby and go running before 9:00 pm at night. Then I'll go to the bathroom without anyone pounding on the door or yelling at me that they need help right away to get a movie on that they are perfectly capable of doing themselves. After that I think I'll call a friend and actually talk (like a real conversation where they say something and then I say something and then they say something and then I say something and it all makes sense) without having to retrieve a child from the counter or tell Sarah to be quiet every three seconds. Then I think I'll go to bed early and sleep the whole night without interruption. Just when I was getting my hopes up, she informed me that it was really just a joke. Ha ha! Ha!