toddler to do list

• wake up at 6:00 am
• watch tv until mom is able to drag herself off the couch and cope with morning
  
• climb on the dishwasher
• climb on the counter
• climb on the dishwasher
• climb on the counter
• climb on the dishwasher
• climb on the counter
• pour juice on floor
• dump breakfast on floor
• climb on dishwasher
• climb on counter
• turn off computer (while mom is working on it)
• climb onto tv stand
• watch show
• climb on dishwasher
• climb on counter
• climb on dishwasher
• climb on counter
• play in the toilet
  
• take a bath
• pee on the floor while mom tries to get clothes from the other side of the room
  
• run away from mom while she is trying to put my diaper on
• climb on the dishwasher
• climb on the counter
• run away from mom while she tries to put my shirt on
• climb on the dishwasher
• climb on the counter
• climb on the dishwasher
• climb on the counter
• scream while mom holds me down to put on my pants, socks, and shoes
• climb on the dishwasher
• climb on the counter
• squirm, wiggle, and wail while mom brushes hair
  
• take a nap at 8:30 am
• run errands with mom
• climb on the dishwasher
• climb on the counter
• climb on the dishwasher
• climb on the counter
• sneak into mom's room to cause trouble
• climb on the tv stand
• watch a show
• eat five bites of quesadilla for lunch
• dump juice on the floor
• dump grapes and rest of quesadilla on floor
• play in my room
• climb on dishwasher
• climb on counter
• climb on dishwasher
• climb on counter
• play with trains
• watch a show
• play with trucks
• climb on dishwasher
• unload dirty dishes from dishwasher onto counter
• climb on counter
• gnaw on dirty silverware
• take second nap (also known as mom just can't take it for one more second nap)
  
• climb on dishwasher
• climb on counter
• play in toilet
  
• climb on dishwasher
• climb on counter
  

We might not actually survive the rest of the day. There are still several hours left until bedtime. There's a very high probability that either the dishwasher door or the mother will give out. There is also a possibility that he might fall off the counter one of these times.