all. by. myself.

I went to an appointment this morning--alone. All. By. Myself. I felt a bit naked without a stroller and two children tagging along behind, beside, or in front of me. I occasionally go places without Sarah when she is on a playdate, at preschool, or at home with daddy, but I rarely leave home without Zach in tow. When I'm out minus Sarah, I often find myself referring to this state as childless. Zach seems more like an appendage at this point, and it's still fairly easy to navigate the world with him relaxing in the stroller--if you don't count carrying him in the stroller up and down stairs. Today, though, all by myself, I felt like I was forgetting something, missing something. I kept checking my pockets and my bag as if something had been left behind. As it turns out, I didn't have a bottle of water. I did get a little bit thirsty. No snacks. No wipes in case my hands got dirty. When I needed to blow my nose, no tissues. Not even a book to read while I waited in the reception room. (I did get to browse in a magazine for a few minutes while I waited; I haven't done that in ages.) With the stroller and the kids along, I always have these things. You simply have to when you have kids. I'm looking forward to going places by myself again when my kids go to school in five and a half years (not that I'm counting or anything). I'm wondering, however, just how long it takes for that missing something feeling to go away when, in fact, there is nothing missing...